"All Means All"
Holding Grief and Gratitude in the Same Heart
(Author note: I know I include a lot of Bible verses in some of my pieces, but that is because I want you to know and be able to look up the references for these thoughts I’ve written. I do pray it is not a deterrent or distraction as you read!)
Time to Retreat!
Fourteen of us sat in a circle on our yearly writing retreat, leaders helping in an online writing program led by author Leslie Leyland Fields.
This year, our group came from all over the US and Canada. How wonderful to get out of our “Zoom boxes” and come together in person instead of online!
Our retreat “treats us” to actual hugs, fellowship, devotions, belly-laughs, planning, singing, praying, crafting, and nature hikes. It’s been a highlight for several years.
Unfortunately, this year brought overwhelming challenges to some in our group.
“It’s been heavy this year, has it not?” Leslie acknowledged through tears, and I couldn’t hold my own back. One friend (whom we call our Mama Bear) fell and needed immediate surgery before the retreat. Another precious friend was missing, in a prolonged battle with cancer. She made the difficult choice to go into hospice care the very week of our retreat, heartbreaking news. It’s not that we weren’t expecting it, but that we just wished it could be different. Others have experienced challenges and caregiving issues as well.
Disrupted lives and friendships due to these health issues and hospice events bring sorrow and loss. Being together physically facilitated the sharing and release of some of these emotions.
The Weight of Sorrow
I’ve had my fair share of grief this year, and at times it seems too much to bear.
Are you, like me, holding space within you right now for both grief and joy?
The older I get, the more I realize that God teaches us ever so gently. He knows we often hold the weight of sorrow and the highs of happiness within a single human heart.
Jesus never leaves us alone in our sadness, friends. He invites us to share our feelings with Him and with those around us.
Interestingly, He’s had me in a couple of Bible studies over the past year with teachings around the purpose of lament. He invites us into lament: to bring to Him our feelings with the purpose of releasing them and then refocusing on His eternal promises. (Lament is different than grumbling, which ends in negativity; lament helps to lift our perspective back onto Him.)
And when we ask Jesus to shoulder our burdens, He both holds and lifts their weight. We can trust Him to help.
“All Means All”
God’s Word does instruct us to give thanks in all circumstances. Why? Because this would be HIS will for all of us in Christ Jesus. (1 Thes. 5:18, ESV). As our “Mama Bear” friend frequently reminds us, “ALL means ALL”. We give thanks in all circumstances, not because our circumstances are good, but because our God is good.
How is God good with hard things happening, you might ask?
Well, we remind ourselves:
He’s good because he loved us so much that he sent Jesus to die in our place, take our sin, and make a way for us to live eternally with him. (John 3:16)
He’s good because He loves, cares, and provides for us down here on the earth. (Jer. 31:3)
And He’s good because He alone is holy, preeminent, full of grace, truth, love, and light. (Jn. 1:14) In him there is no darkness (1 John 1:5).
Lastly, we remember that He is the only one worthy of worship and praise, a perspective shift that puts earthly things in their proper place. (Psalm 145:3)
So, we can still be thankful in the hard times because of all that He offers. We don’t act based on our feelings, but on the reality of who God is and all that He promises us. (It’s not that we FEEL like praising in the middle of hard stuff, right? But because we STILL GET TO praise him down here in the middle of it, see?)
The Juxtaposition
It’s strange to realize that I can shed tears for my friends’ difficulties and coming death on this earth in the same day and space as I engage in a good belly-laugh with other friends. It’s just the ebb and flow of life down here. The good with the bad, the hard mixed with fun.
Certainly, it can feel like whiplash at times, as the full gamut of emotion presses down on us like an olive press. But what it presses out of us is a purified faith and spiritual growth that is pleasing to God. (1 Peter 2:2)
Thank goodness for all that the Lord promises:
to never leave or forsake us (Matt 28:20),
to walk as closely as a brother (Prov. 18:24),
to go ahead and prepare an eternal home for us (John 14:2).
He knew how tough life would be down here and gave us this hope in Him to survive.
Are you, like me, struggling with and juggling dual emotions from opposite ends of life? Are you able to lean into his promises and maintain an eternal perspective? Do you talk or journal to Jesus about your feelings and utilize lament? If not, try one of these ideas next time you’re reeling.
Most of all, hang in there. Jesus loves you and me so much. Let’s keep our eyes on Him and His promises. Write them down, hang them up, re-read them. Breathe. Give yourself space and grace. Pray for help and lament the sorrow. He knows all about that down here.
He’s here for all of us. Here for YOU.
And remember, my friends: “ALL means ALL!”
For Worship:
I Need You by Jet Trouble
“I know You’re good. . .but life is hard. . .’
I just wrote another short note to our mama bear. My morning walk is a way to release tension and sadness and talk to God about my burdens. After all, his are easy and light. I want to learn from Him. Thanks for these blessings, Jen.
Well done, Jen. Thank you for the reminder that "all means all" and that I must keep my eyes on the One who knows the end from the beginning and does all things in love.