Finding Patience and Grace

Amid the Everyday Messiness of Life

Life Gets Messy

“Not again!” I mutter under my breath as I reach for the cupboard and spot the gooey tan offender.

I grab the dishrag from the sink and wipe the handle down. If I had a dollar for every time I cleaned peanut butter off a kitchen cupboard or handle, I’d be rich! I release a sigh.

Then, I chastise myself. I don’t need to get irritated just because I clean up peanut butter in multiple places every morning, or spotted bathroom mirrors. I need to stop recounting the number of times I’ve spoken to my husband about how he might be able to fix this issue, a minor inconvenience for me.

Reframe.

Instead, I need to reframe my irritation again. I know full well that God is teaching me patience through these little frustrations of family life!

I remind myself that I need to be grateful that I have a husband, and that we have a kitchen and peanut butter as well! And I need to continue to accept that these inconveniences are part of how I serve my husband as a “suitable helpmate” to him.

The Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.” (Gen. 2:18, NIV).

Most of all, I need to remember my own foibles that irritate him. Like how I’m reluctant to look away from my phone when I’m busy reading and he starts a conversation. How my desire for cleanliness and order affects his creativity, and doesn’t always seem necessary to him. How my pride sometimes gets in the way of my compassion and understanding.

Yep, I need to remember that relationships are messy and that walking out this life together involves a two-way street. Serving, helping, compassion, and love are needed from both sides, or there will be wrecked lives. Jesus knew this when he bent to wash dusty disciple feet and modeled for them what love truly looks like.

**Jesus taught us that hands of love serve others.

I’m sure you can relate.

Perhaps for you, it’s not a husband, but a child, parent, or a pet you live with. Maybe it’s a boss, fellow employee, or an especially needy friend.

Perhaps it’s not just cleaning up after them, but mood swings or selfishness or difficulty communicating. Maybe it’s more of a difference in opinions or mental or emotional instability. Whatever the situation you’re dealing with in daily life, you’re aware that it tests (and grows) your patience.

As Christians, we know sin resides within us and that we aren’t perfect. Accepting and dealing with each other’s imperfections patiently and kindly is one way we seek to grow in loving our people, like Jesus taught us.

But it isn’t easy. No growth ever is! It wouldn’t be “growth” if it didn’t stretch us outside of our comfort zones, right?

Renew.

One of the best ways I’ve found to handle the daily irritations of those that surround me is through prayer, renewing my mind in Scripture, and focusing on God. In fact, one year I memorized all of Colossians 3 as a wonderful reminder. Here’s just a part:

“Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.” (Col 3:12-14, NIV).

***Renewing our minds in truth is so important!

Remind.

Scripture reminds me of the truth of who I am, my human nature, and my new identity in Christ. I ask God to open MY eyes to see my family members, friends, and neighbors the way HE does--through his eyes, and He usually answers this prayer for me. It really helps.

And I remind myself that I can easily see how God put my husband and I together to work as a team, helping each other out. He needs my organizational skills, and I need his reminders that perfectionism isn’t necessary.

Without these daily practices, I can easily find my human nature grumbling while wiping down dirty kitchen cupboards or spotted bathroom mirrors. Since I’ve learned which things tend to irritate me, I now guard against it by utilizing God’s help to:

• Renew.

• Reframe.

• Remind (myself!)

After all, God could’ve wiped me off the face of the earth a long time ago, or left me in my deep, dark emotional dungeon!

But he didn’t. His great love sent Jesus to rescue me and show me what truly loving others looks like: sacrifice, service, care, love.

And his love and spiritual blessings are enough to spur me on in the service of cleaning peanut butter off kitchen cupboards each day. :)

What about you? How do you guard yourself against the daily irritations of life? And where do you find that your patience is most tested (and grown)?

Feel free to share in the comments below!

For Worship This Week:

If you’ve been redeemed, you’ll know true freedom, and this song will get you moving in praise!

Freedom in this House — Jonathan Traylor

*Photo by Giorgio Trovato on Unsplash

**Photo by Rob Long on Unsplash

***Photo by Sincerely Media on Unsplash