On Velveteen Rabbits
Finding Ourselves And Becoming Real
Finding Myself
“Did you always know you wanted to be a writer?”
Our Women’s Ministry leader directed her question to me. She and several other facilitators waited for the rest of our group to arrive for a lunch fellowship in preparation for spring bible study.
“Yes,” I nodded. “I began writing my first chapter book at age ten, but difficult events as a young teen stopped me. After that, I couldn’t figure out how to write truthfully about my life.”
I reflected back on the events these last five years that led me back to writing.
“It took almost 40 years, and a special teacher, to develop the courage to write again!” I paused, thinking. “Matter of fact, I think I can say that I feel more fully myself now—like I’m finally becoming who God MADE me to be.”
Blurting this out surprised me, reminding me of “The Velveteen Rabbit,” a children’s story by Marjorie Williams where the stuffed rabbit becomes real. I’d never thought about my return to writing in this way, but it rang true. It DOES feel like I’ve become more of who I was meant to be.
I believed my writing dreams were over years ago. I spent years finding and knowing God, standing on his promises, and stepping out in his purposes. And it took that long to heal all the trauma from the past.
To watch God orchestrate events these last five years to restore this journey feels sacred, and fills me with awe.
Writing about the joy in my relationship with God is easy. Writing about difficult or traumatic events? Not so much.
BUT. It has DEFINITELY been good. Freeing. Liberating. Validating. Healing.
Writing helps me gaze backward and see God at work. How he’s used all the difficulties and turned them around for my good and his glory. How amazing! And redemptive.
That he can USE a person like me to share struggles and joys along life’s journey is thrilling.
Becoming Real
This got me to thinking. Do others feel this way? Do others feel like they are living fully as themselves, fully alive and as God made them to be, or not?
Because for so. many. years. I did not. Instead, I hid. I hid out of fear and shame and all the things God tells us he wipes away and removes as far as the east is from the west:
For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his love for those who fear him; as far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us. (Psalm 103;11-12, NIV).
I hung onto all that stuff longer than necessary. It just stuck around. I didn’t know how to let it all go, and spent years too busy to try.
Now, the writing is helping me learn to open my hands, yield my life, and fully submit it to God for his use.
What about you, dear readers?
Do you feel alive and fully yourself, I wonder? This isn’t a rhetorical question--I genuinely would love to know. I’m curious if you would describe yourself as living fully as the person God made you to be? If so, did that occur for you early on in life, or like me, during a prolonged journey of healing and overcoming obstacles?
For me, every step of the journey has been worthwhile. Just like The Velveteen Rabbit story by Marjorie Williams, it took years of God’s love and care to make me feel fully alive. I’m not shiny and youthful anymore; no, I’m worn by cares and concerns. Yet-- God can use that fully loved and worn version of myself much more now than that shiny young version that just hid on a shelf.
*Opportunity for Local Friends! Free Writing Class!
I will be facilitating the “Your Story for God’s Glory” writing classes, based on the book “Your Story Matters” by Christian author Leslie Leyland Fields. You and any friends are welcome to join!
We will meet at Fellowship City Church in Chagrin on Thursday nights, starting Feb. 20th from 7-8:30, for 8 weeks. If learning to write your life stories in an easy and engaging way sounds interesting, you can sign up at this link below:
Like to Worship?
I love praise and worship music, so I thought I might include a link to a worship song I’m loving this week: Then Sings My Soul by FC Music—take a listen if you’d like!
*Photo by Jennifer Chen on Upsplash